think-tanked

Note to self.

In some countries “happy hour” actually begins at noon. And I agree.

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I'm an obsessive thinker. If there was a thinking anonymous program I'd be sent away for the weekend. I pre-think and re-think and over-think everything. Like if I'm in a new relationship I think-tank the thing to death, trying to discern whether it's "right" or "it," in attempts to protect trotting down "wrong" paths.

So I've been thinking - life is like a maze, you have to just stumble through it. Accept dead ends, "mistakes," and enjoy the green along the way. You can't think your way through a maze before taking a step into it, because you don't know the path about to be thrown your way.

All I can do is have a subtle trust inside that as I fumble through, if I stay close to my inner ninja, the voice of intuitive truth, that I'll know which turns to take.

Which doesn't help the heart ache of the walk some days. But that's the beauty of a life lead richly - the submerging depths of experience and the simplicity of elation at turns that feel good, turns hard earned by a dozen other adjustments that just. plain. hurt.

xo - the ninja